


I Want the Whole Sea for You and Me

by prettyasadiagram



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Spy, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-25
Updated: 2012-09-25
Packaged: 2017-11-15 01:28:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/521641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyasadiagram/pseuds/prettyasadiagram
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek is the angriest spy to ever spy, but he gets the job done, and that's why Peter keeps him on, but sometimes Stiles just doesn’t know what to do with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Want the Whole Sea for You and Me

**Author's Note:**

> Spurred and betaed by thatdamneddame, so you can all blame her. 
> 
> As usual, let me know if you notice anything glaringly wrong, mistagged, etc.

Stiles and Derek have a system. A very complicated system worked out over eight grueling months of trial and error and threats and questionable commentary. It goes a bit like this: Stiles talks, Derek threatens, they get the job done. 

Case in point:

"—so really, you should have used the new toy the lab gave you, not that old grappling hook that one of these days I'm going to throw away." Stiles's voice is unreasonably chipper in Derek's ear, especially since Derek is currently dangling off the side of a building.

"Now is not a good time, Stiles," Derek grunts, "And if you touch my grappling hook, I'm going to rip your throat out."

"You need to get some new threats, buddy. That one's getting a little stale. Also, I'd just like to point out, that if you'd flirted a bit with the receptionist, you could've taken the elevator up, and then you wouldn't literally be pulling yourself up a building because your equipment sucks."

 

The first time Stiles sees Derek he nearly swallows the pen cap he’s chewing on. It’s not an auspicious start and Derek stares at him, impassive except for a faint tensing of his jaw, like Stiles is something stuck on the bottom of his shoe.

Things get a bit better when Derek realizes that Stiles is a technology god and actually good at his job, but it takes much longer than anticipated to make him smile and laugh and look at Stiles like they’re friends.

 

(When Peter calls Derek into his office, he thinks he’s going to get another one of Peter’s slightly condescending lectures about smiling and trying to be a bit more personable. Or, more likely, a directive that he’s being relocated to the Indiana office since his latest handler has requested to be reassigned, just like the three before him have. 

Sadly, he gets Stiles. Who blasts Ke$ha, wears plaid against dress code, has an oral fixation that makes Derek ridiculously uncomfortable, and looks barely old enough to drink. 

Peter looks at Derek’s surprised expression, which actually is very similar to his “let me punch this” expression, and smiles, “Yes, I think you two will get along nicely.”)

 

Their first unsupervised meeting goes a bit like this:

“Danny warned me about you.”

Derek growls.

“Yeah, he said you do that a lot. Also that I was to ignore it and just give you all the dangerous missions and shiny toys that you inevitably will lose, damage, or throw away on accident and then I’ll have to fill out a mountain of paperwork in triplicate.”

“That happened one time—“

“—yes, and apparently it made an impression,” Stiles smiles brightly at Derek, before flipping through the file. “So, how do you want to play this?”

 

Nobody but Derek and Stiles probably counts their first mission as a success. It might have something to do with Derek being injured and his cover being blown, all of which Stiles predicted when the plan was first outlined, but Derek is determined to do things the hard way and Stiles is many things, but he cannot physically make Derek see reason, so he lets things unfold.

When it all goes to hell and Derek breaks his leg parkouring his way across rooftops instead of calmly repelling down like he was supposed to, Stiles pointedly doesn’t say, “I told you so,” even though he so had. 

As he helps Derek hobble to the infirmary, Stiles sees something loosen in the set of Derek’s shoulders when Stiles doesn’t call him on the mission going south, and he begins to think that maybe they can get along after all.

And then he draws a unicorn on Derek’s cast and the tentative peace is shattered once again.

 

Stiles has eyes, thank you very much, so he knows that Derek is stupidly attractive, just like he knows that Derek is way out of his league. 

But sometimes, Derek brings Stiles coffee in the morning from that shop that does weird flavor shots, and sometimes, he saves Stiles a pudding cup from the cafeteria, and Stiles doesn’t know what to do with this information. 

 

When Stiles goes into the field to rescue Derek, he doesn’t really expect anything except a grunt of acknowledgement, maybe a verbal thank you if Derek is feeling bold. He definitely isn’t prepared for Derek shoving him against the van, arms caging him in, and Stiles can almost feel Derek’s heart pounding against his chest, but there’s something manic in Derek’s eyes, so Stiles doesn’t say anything. 

That doesn’t mean he isn’t distracted by the warmth of Derek, the faint scent of his aftershave, and Stiles can’t help but flick his eyes down to Derek’s lips, parted invitingly and obscenely red, and Jesus Christ, he is so screwed.

He has a flashback to second grade when Lydia pushed him down on the playground and loomed over him and told him to stay out of her way. That was the start of Stiles’ ten-year crush, and he can’t see this one going any better. 

When Derek slowly backs off, Stiles resolves to work harder at keeping things professional, but it’s increasingly difficult when Derek starts casually touching him. It’s guerilla warfare; just little things, like a brush of shoulders, his hand on Stiles’ hip to move him out of the way, leaning too close to look at a file. It’s driving Stiles up the wall, but he can’t even tell if Derek knows what he’s doing.

 

Here are some things that Stiles knows about Derek:

1\. He only wears monochromatic colors. Stiles plans on sneaking colored shirts into his wardrobe someday, but only if Derek is drunk, drugged, or otherwise incapacitated at the time, because Stiles is quite fond of his bones unbroken, thank you very much.  
2\. For all his sour exterior, Derek is surprisingly good with animals. Stiles tried to get a picture of Derek cuddling a kitten, but then there were threats of violence and the kitten scratched him, and it seemed safer just to save that one to memory.  
3\. He hates cilantro, which makes trips to Chipotle always super fun. Who knew that cilantro-lime rice would be such a point of contention?  
4\. Derek may deny it, but he’s really into _So You Think You Can Dance_. Stiles has seen his DVR.  
5\. Finally, and most importantly, Derek doesn’t flirt.

That last one is actually written on a post-it note in his file, complete with big bold letters and underlined twice. 

Stiles would know, he adds it himself after a mission went south when Derek just smiled helplessly and asked if the mark came here often, instead of breaking out some smooth moves. 

And while he has the file in front of him, Stiles takes a quick look around. It’s not that he didn’t read up on Derek when they were partnered, but, well, Stiles prefers to make his own opinions of people, which is how he somehow missed finding the hilarious photos of Derek’s time posing as an IT Analyst, complete with suit and tie and ridiculous glasses.

Well, now he knows what he’s getting Derek for Christmas. Definitely a pocket protector. 

 

It takes six missions before Stiles finally has video proof of Derek actively avoiding the easy route of flirting with a lady to gain access to whatever info he needs. Against all of Stiles’s objections, Derek’s current plan is to army-crawl across a heavily surveilled field, scale a building, and fend off twelve armed guards, just so that he doesn’t have to make bedroom eyes or show his pearly whites. 

(And they certainly are pearly, but that’s beside the point, and Stiles does have a point, even if Derek says otherwise frequently and loudly, usually accompanied by violence or the threat thereof.

Well, what Derek really says is that he has no time for subtlety, and _shut up, Stiles_ , but Stiles just says he’s crap at flirting and doesn’t want the Bureau to know.)

 

“I can’t believe you’re making me do this,” Derek mutters before shoving a cookie in his mouth so he doesn’t have to talk to anyone.

From the safety of the van, Stiles teases, “They’re just children, Derek; they won’t hurt you. The men using them to smuggle drugs, however, are different story. Also, watch out for the one trying to climb your leg; he looks like a biter.”

Derek growls and one of the kids yells, “PUPPY!”

And that is how Stiles acquires a video of Derek being taken down by seven children, none of whom reaches higher than his knee. 

Of course, that’s also how the video of Derek taking out five grown men with a picnic table, a pair of grilling tongs, and a bottle of mustard makes its way around the office.

 

Stiles patches up Derek’s scrapes back at the office because Derek is a ninny who hates all medical personnel because he is a manly man and probably believes that rubbing dirt in your wounds only makes you stronger. 

When he’s done, Derek looks at him from under his lashes and thanks him, while Stiles swallows heavily. Stiles pats him on the cheek and says, “No problem; I just can’t believe you let a four-year old bite you.”

Derek smiles like he knows that’s not what Stiles wanted to say, and leans in close to grab his jacket from behind Stiles. 

While Stiles is trying not to bite his lip at the searing heat of Derek pressed along his shoulder, Derek grins widely and asks, “Celebratory pie?” 

It’s like he’s actively trying to make Stiles crazy. 

 

Things come to a head like this:

Stiles doesn’t mean to have sex with Derek, honestly, but when post-mission pie turns into post-mission beers at Derek’s apartment and Derek, who’s been crowding into Stiles’ personal space all evening, hooks his fingers in Stiles’s belt loops and tugs, Stiles just follows Newton’s third law, because who is he to argue with physics. 

 

In the morning, Stiles thinks that maybe he could have argued just a little bit, if only for appearance' sake.

But then Derek rolls over and nuzzles at his neck, and Stiles remembers Derek hovering over him in the half-dark, huffing a laugh when Stiles nipped at his lower lip, bracing himself against the headboard as he moved against Stiles, and he makes a mental note to freak out later before tucking himself back against Derek and falling asleep. 

 

(Later comes when Stiles says aloud, “Oh hey, fact #5 is now totally false,” ignores Derek’s demands for clarification, and then requests that Derek make him pancakes, overriding Derek’s amused, “But it’s the middle of the afternoon.” 

He then spends the next fifteen minutes clutching his head and bemoaning the fact that when Peter inevitably finds out, he’s going to string Stiles up by his thumbs for seducing his beloved nephew, while Derek argues, “You didn’t seduce me; I’m pretty sure it was the other way around.”

“Nonsense, you know just couldn’t resist my charms.”

“Yeah, something about you being willfully oblivious for a whole year; such a turn on.”

Stiles loads his fork with pancake before pointing it at Derek, “And don’t you forget it.”)

**Author's Note:**

> Please do not repost this work in its entirety or share this work on third-party websites such as Goodreads.


End file.
